We think in a language, in a language we are comfortable with. It’s mostly our mother tongue. We don’t even realize it that we think in a language subconsciously. But imagine a person with no language. If a newborn baby were to be put alone on an island and never taught anything, would he think? If he would, what language would it be in? Is it even possible to think without knowing a language? Would he ever speak any words or make noise when he doesn’t know what words sound like? Would he even know he could speak? And if he doesn’t have a language and we need that for thinking, will he not think at all?
Always makes me wonder.
Feb
26
To think or not to think
3 Comments
Jan
22
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The future that i dreamt was a fruitless attempt,
The present that you breed, is only to feed your greed.
The past all forgotten, hearts rusted and rotten.
All that remains, the disease of power in our veins.
Nov
01
(This song is the perfect soundtrack to the story Pino Forastiere-Fase -1)
She was lucky that I was there at that time. She was lucky I was there at all. When she collapsed on the floor, she was lucky I walked into the room. I called an ambulance right away without even thinking twice. She stayed at the hospital for three days. You can’t expect a terminal patient to have a life much different than this. I had seen her deteriorate in the last 4 months I had known her. From going out to dinner with me to dinner at home to total parenteral nutrition through a drip, I had seen it all. I loved her. Everyone knows that they can’t live forever, but the worst is not not knowing that you will die, the worst is knowing that you know when you are going to die. The doctors had given her maximum eight months. That was six months before I had met her. She was a strong woman. I can only imagine how much stronger she must have been before her ailment. She was definitely stronger and had more will power than Mary. I think I will miss her more.
I was new to the city. She showed me around. I helped her pack up her stuff and send it to her relatives. She refused to leave her home and go live with her sister. It wasn’t like her sister was going to leave her job and live with her. She was content that I was here to help. I used to love the paper machē barn animals she used to make. I still remember those long talks we used to have in the living room. She was so full of life, even then. Winter wasn’t the best time for anyone to be in a state she was in, but our conversations kept her warm. I loved the hot cocoa she used to make and call me over to have it with her. I didn’t know if it was for that or was it just an excuse to call me over.
She hardly ever visited my place, though I lived just down the lane. But somehow I was happier this way. I would rather visit her at her place than have her over at mine. I didn’t like staying at my place. I always just wanted to get out. It was very refreshing visiting her house; you didn’t know what to expect everytime. It was always something new. She would still sell real estate online. I loved her hair. She would still try to dance to her favorite songs but wouldn’t last long. It was a shame I didn’t know how to dance at all. But I would just sit there and enjoy her enjoying herself.
I really hated the last few days, but those are the days I will remember the most. I hardly left her side. My hand would feel numb after a few hours, but she wouldn’t let it go. There was no comfort in the hospital room aura. We had been in this situation many times before, always returning. This time it seemed it would be the last. It was heart breaking seeing her gasping for every breath. I was a strong person myself. I hardly ever cried. But I was trying very hard not to even now. It was just a matter of time. I hate winter. I hate night time. I hate both of them combined together. But what happened in both their combination is what I will hate more for ever, atleast till next time. I witnessed doctors and nurses trying to resuscitate her but it was merely a drill. Everyone knew she wasn’t going to come back. I wanted to keep holding her hand but I had to let go. I had to deprive her of her last comfort. Of one last thing that still kept her hope. I had to take it away. I sat on the chair in the corner. I sat there till they took her away. I saw her change color. She would always stay alive inside me.
Another summer, another city. I was good at hospital administration. That is what I did half of the year atleast. But it was time again. I had found what I was looking for. She was in the hospital for over a week now and was going to be discharged in the next few days to come. The doctors weren’t very optimistic. It was a pity she had lost her husband only a few weeks ago to a car accident. Im sure she was wishing she would’ve ended then and there too. But I guess it wasn’t in her interest that she was still alive, it was in mine. I filed in my resignation.
I rang the door bell. She wasn’t expecting anyone. But she looked really beautiful in her pajamas.
“Hi, I just moved down the lane a few days ago. Do you mind if I could borrow a few things from you?” I said with a big smile on my face. She smiled back and called me in.
I liked the summer breeze.
Aug
06
No matter how much you don’t want to but the hard fact of life (or death) is that everyone has to go. You can pray for good health all that you want but humans don’t vanish one day or die without a cause, you need a way to go. A disease, a condition , an accident. You cant run away from any of that. You cant spend your time trying to run away from all that. You have to let go of the fears and live it to the most as you await, for you know that slowly but surely death will creep upto you in one way or the other.
May
09
- “Honey come here quick! Its time for us to quit our jobs and buy a beach house and spend the rest of our days soaking up the sun! I’m the 1,23,4567th lucky person to visit this site and I just won a million dollars!”
- “Hmm…where do I check my mail again? I guess it was…www.hotmale.com…*click* OH MY GOD!”
- “Dang it! This internet thing is sure mind boggling…how in the world did they ever know I need Viagra?”
- “This nice young lady keeps mailing me to chat with her on the webcam. She’s such a darling”
- “I hate reading the news online! I can’t even take the monitor to the toilet with me!”
- “I’m old but I’m not stupid! Don’t tell me I can buy my grocery while sitting infront of this machine!”
- “Carla come quick! Do you remember the e-mail addresses of all our friends? I need to forward this awful awful e-mail to atleast 20 people or something bad will happen to me! Oh god! What did I do to deserve this?!”
May
03
In Flames,Mike Portnoy,Silverchair,Bush, Spiderman,Black and white,Insomnium,Fight club,Labradors,X-men,Entourage,Drums,Metallica,Simpsons,Batman,Ironman,Transformers
May
02
Jumping; I came across this concept when I watched the movie called “Jumper”. In simpler words, jumping has always been known as teleporting, a really remarkable ability to have. Teleportation is defined in Wikipedia as:
“Teleportation is the movement of objects from one place to another, more or less instantaneously, without traveling through space.”
What if we could actually teleport? What if we can be in one place one second and another place in the other? But what if this ability comes with a price that makes this ability almost useless? Would we still use this power if it came with any of the following back draws?:
- You can jump(teleport), but only to a place in between a crowd of people and your clothes have to stay behind.
- You can jump, but everytime you do, your penis grows 2 centimeters shorter.
- You can jump, but only along with transformation into another form; be it an animal or be it a pile of dung.
- You can jump, but with the loss of voluntary control over yourself for the next five minutes which probably would lead to incontinence of urine and feces.
- You can jump, but first you have to find someone else with the same ability who is willing to exchange places with you.
- You can jump, but everytime you do, you age 5 years.
- You can jump, but first you have to count from 1 to 100,000 in one go.
- You can jump, but with the price of an exponential increase in your body hair.
- You can jump, but you have the choice of either a raft at sea, the north pole or an underground coal mine.
- You can jump, but you cannot come back.
Apr
28
Ah! These lights. I just love them. I just love how they change from red to blue to green to red again. I love how the lights literally dance infront of my eyes. Its weird how this spectacle never comes to life when im at ground level or when I’m actually having a good day, I always witness this amazing show when im either having one of my worst days or when im here at this roof top.
There is no place else I’d rather be than here right now. My sanctuary. I always feel so alive and carefree when im here, the rest of the world can just go to hell. The lights change shape and start to dance all around me. Like an eager little boy, I jump up and clap my hands. Im mesmerized by this grandeur. I laugh out in appreciation. I don’t care; I know there is no one around to look at me, or to share this exhibition with me. My arm hurts and I look at it to find a bruise over my forearm. I don’t remember how it got there. I ignore it. The lights will heal it in due time, im sure.
The glitter and the fuzziness are too fascinating. It leaves my presence and moves away from me, hovering over the ledge. I know what I have to do, follow it. This feeling is eternal, its here to stay. I let myself loose. I follow the lights off the roof. They carry me in the air. I’ve never felt better. Im flying with the lights as they gently bring me to the ground a few hundred feet below. The impact is not what I was expecting. I hit the sidewalk hard and my jaw dislocates, my ribs are pushed into my chest, my arm is broken and my skull splits into two.
LSD mixed with heroine makes one hell of a drug.
