Alone with a thousand people

i look at the clock as it strikes half past nine
so many days gone still no track of time
dissatisfaction clouds me is there a way out?
i heive a sigh for all there is doubt
ponder over how my lifes been over the years
somethings bring a smile but mostly bring tears
is this how my life is meant to be?
so alone and so temporary?
trust i lose now in everyone
will someone show me how this(life) is really done?
a little flower brings some sweetness in my shadowed garden
still difficult to come over my bitterness, i beg thy pardon
state of tension,state of apprehension
hate everything right now did i mention?
the closer my love comes the further i drift away
the more things become clearer the more life fades away
the time will soon come when ill be staring at the sky from my grave
people will say he was emotionless but was he really brave?
“all the times i wish you’d speak to me” so true
wish you can tell what im thinking without me telling you
ill miss you if we ever move away
how dark and torturous would be every night and day
all there is in my life i myself have to find
ill tell you how much you mean to me hope its not too late
the question never leaves my mind
 is it the hate i love or the love i hate.

if anyone reads this…this is my life right now.if u can make sense out of it or if u feel ur life is the same give me some comments